How life started...
I was always the happy one - the fixer. The one everyone went to for help and advice. Nothing was ever a problem for me - I was strong, and capable. I supported myself and was fiercely independent - I didn't rely on others, they relied on me. And I truly thought I was coasting life - it was good, for the most part. I went through some tough experiences, but then who hasn't...Seriously, who hasn't had a broken family, a massive loss, or a breakdwon of a relationship in today's modern hectic world. Everyone goes through these things, I told myself, so I just got on with it - wouldn't you? I'm sure you're agreeing on some level with this - life goes on, keep moving, right? Maybe like me you told yourself that your stories are so small in comparison to others peoples experiences, maybe you downplay your needs - but it's all relative, and it ALL has a big impact on your mind, and your life.
The Full Story
Then I hit a big life event - a big loss. I lost a parent and the world unravelled. Life became a blur - work, eat, sleep, repeat. I was functioning but I wasn't LIVING. I had walked around in a daze for 10 months and woke up one morning knowing that I NEEDED to change something, to feel better. I was having flashbacks that would take my breath away, days melted into one - I was surviving, but not living. My family had all gone through a traumatic experience, and I needed a way out before it completely consumed me. Trauma is such a loaded word, but on reflection I was suffering from PTSD. This is when I first found Hypnotherapy. I saw a therapist who stopped the flashbacks in 1 session - I could breathe again. I was amazed - nothing but words to help me feel better in one session. In one hour, we rewired the trauma pathways laid in my brain in those darkest moments, and filled them with happier memories. It was truly remarkable, and a huge turning point for me. It was the start of me unwinding not only that trauma, but core beliefs and rules I placed on myself so that I could begin to truly live.
After that first session I continued to work on my mind, my mental health. I pulled out anxieties and fears I’d had for years and overcame them, I put boundaries in place where they never existed before, I built a deep understanding of everything that underpinned me as a person. I realised that for the first time in my life, I was putting ME at the centre of my life. And I began to LIVE and THRIVE!
Continuing the work
I learned that whilst independence is good, being fiercely independent is a trauma response. And that people pleasing and always tending to others' needs before mine wasn’t about being a nice person, it was about upholding that anxiety that came from a core belief - that I wasn’t good enough. I traced every core belief back to experiences, and released them one by one, leaving me free and open to build a life without those rules that didn’t work for me.
I know first hand how hard it can feel to take steps towards finding a better life for YOU. Especially when you often put everyone else’s needs before your own. I was you once - people pleasing, “the strong one”, fiercely independent. I couldn’t admit that all wasn’t well, because that would show weakness - and I couldn’t be weak - because I was the strong one. Stuck in a vicious cycle of my mind that replayed to me over and over again - everyone relies on me - I don’t rely on others… So, I kept going, kept moving, kept being “strong” for everyone around me, and doing very little to fill my own cup. Sound familiar? I hear ya...
Today I'm thriving...
Why? Well, I've done the work. I know myself on a deeper level than ever before. Because you see, the moment we begin to realise that the mind can either hold us hostage, or empower us forward, is the moment we really can begin to reset and thrive.
So now I help others, like you, to walk through your own journey, whatever that might be. I work with people to help them deepen their understanding, which in turn deepens their self love, self trust, self awareness and boosts their confidence, motivation and ability to get what they want in life.
So, if you're curious about what drives you, or if you have something to overcome...if you feel stuck or stagnant or lost...if this calls to you because you feel a pull to hit the reset button...check out how I can help you below, how it works, what we can do and how you might feel.
And then get in touch. Don’t leave it another day, another week, another month. There's no greater time to start than now.
Working with Heather has been life changing.
I’ve found out so much about myself and even 6 months later, I am still using the tools and skills that I learnt to unlock new opportunities.
We worked out that I was scared of failing and so didn’t usually take chances when they came up. I was taken aback at this discovery but after it sunk in, lots of things made sense. So, since completing my 6 week course with Heather I have signed up for a horticulture course and taken the first exams of the RHS certificate in June, in the middle of the busy season at work because, what’s the worst that can happen?!I use my grounding techniques daily without noticing and I even enjoy the lengthy school run by reframing it as time for me :)
Thank you Heather, I would recommend anyone who is living in this busy modern world to invest in themselves, they won’t regret it!