Matresence: the invisable journey to parenthood
Nobody tells you the truth about the journeys we take to evolve, to grow, to procreate. Nobody tells you that the journey to motherhood and parenthood can be tough. Nobody is honest, they tend to relay the stories they’ve heard or the things they THINK they’re supposed to say. Because being honest about the changes and challenges parenthood brings is hard, and let’s face it, if we were told, we’d probably think long and hard before taking that first step, wouldn’t we.
Matresence is the complete unwinding of a woman as she steps out of maiden and into her mother phase - it’s one of the most rewarding experiences but also the most physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally demanding experiences. And it starts from the moment you have a thought about what life might look like if you brought a baby into the world. The emotional connection to the journey starts there and then - and so does the rollercoaster.
In a world where motherhood and family life is often forgotten, having support as you embark on this huge transition can make a world of difference to how you feel in parenthood, when it does happen, and I work with clients through each, and often at every, stage.
The journey to parenthood may not always be a smooth one, and we can all face hurdles along the way. You may have started off using phrases like "we're not trying, but we're just not being extra careful anymore", which after a few months were followed up by "We're starting to think about it more seriously now but still not putting pressure on ourselves", whilst in the background you are already buying Ovulation Kits and taking your temperature as soon as you wake up. Maybe you're past the point of watching your discharge for changes and lying to your friends, and have admitted to yourself that this "not trying" is upsetting you. Maybe you've finally said out loud "We are trying for a baby, but it hasn't happened yet".
The likelihood is that you may be under a tremendous amount of anxiety and stress through this process, and you may not even know how stressed or anxious you are. Stress is a key factor in the function of our body - it halts our periods and distracts our hormones, changes our ph and mood and diet and we believe that there is a huge mind/body connection that relates to our ability to pro-create. So it must be the place we start when we aim to help anyone who is actively trying to get pregnant with our fertility support sessions.
Following closely to The Fertile Body Method, our sessions will start by bringing you back to a place of calm, so that with any anxiety and stress levels greatly reduced, we help you create a plan for moving forward in your journey. This isn't all relaxation tracks and talking therapy, we look at our nutrition and environment also, amongst other things. There truly is no "one size fits all", and no matter what point of your fertility journey you are at now, we build our support around your personal circumstances using a combination of coaching and hypnosis techniques that will help you align your mind and body together for a calmer journey.
If you are having a journey that is not going how you expected, if you feel stressed or anxious about trying to conceive your baby, or if you would just like some support as you prepare yourself for your next steps in your fertility process (whether this is a medical process or not) then book a consultation to see if I am the right person to be part of this journey with you.
Pregnancy & Birth
Someone once said to me something that has always rung true - from the moment you decide to have a baby you worry for the rest of your life. And of course, it’s natural to worry. Especially given the media, television and movie depiction of pregnancy and childbirth - it’s all high drama and emergency situations, when in reality it’s very different. I’ve won a number of award for my bespoke approach to Pregnancy and Birth preparation BECAUSE it do some very important things:
1. Helps you and your birth partner bond and connect on what’s important for you
2. Relieves any previous trauma or experiences that might impact your pregnancy or birth
3. Highlights and clears any of your baggage you might be carrying that would make pregnancy, birth and parenthood harder.
The main aim of my pregnancy and birth sessions has always been helping parents start parenthood feeling confident in themselves, without any outstanding trauma, and feeling calm and ready.
If you want to prepare for an amazing and positive birth, however it unfolds, and want a toolbox full to the brim of knowledge and techniques for your and your birth partner to use to make sure you get the best birth for you and your baby, you can book a Pregnancy Unplugged session and gain invaluable tools for use during pregnancy and labour itself, and beyond into parenthood. Or, why not join one of 6 monthly pregnancy retreats to meet likeminded people and learn some skills and tools for labour, whilst being completely nourished and looked after for the day!
You're baby has finally arrived YAAAY! Now what?
After the initial few weeks of new baby craziness that comes over your new life, you'll begin to settle into a new normal.
You may be looking for postnatal support to help you emotionally - particularly where the birth of your baby didn't go to plan - and I specialise in helping you unwind what you need to, so you can find peace and move in into parenthood.
And even if your birth went to plan, you might find that some new challenges arise for you in this new space as a parent.....crying baby, sleep deprivation, finding focus....amongst other things that often come up for new parents.
There are some huge transitions to move through in the early months and years of becoming a parent, so our postnatal support for all families is here to help you overcome and thrive, building the Village that we need so much, and finding peace with your new normal.
Parenting in this modern world can be crazy and hectic, particularly in absence of the village our mothers and grandmothers had. But what if you could do something, with the friendship and support of our wonderful parent group, to help you move through the transitions of parenthood easier? To have you living your best life as a parent, and as a person. Where you feel fantastic, confident and happy in your choices, and have skills and tools to help you soar through any challenges that come up?
With post-natal sessions designed to support you through the transitions, and Matresence Retreats running every 6 months, I have support available to help you find community, comfort and joy in the new version of you.
Birth Reflect & Re-set
-natal trauma recovery & 3 step rewind-
And if you're only finding me post birth, or you had a birth or natal experience (covering everything from Fertility/pregnancy/birth/post-natal/breastfeeding) then my Reflect & Reset sessions could be for you. Here's a little on what trauma is and how it might show up...
Trauma is such a loaded word, and sometimes you may simply not relate your experience to the word Trauma - because this thing that happened to you is normal - it's not unique to you (YES, it is), lots of people go through it (NO, they don't), and they "just get on with it" so you should too, right? WRONG.
A trauma, or traumatic event or experience, is an experience which has left behind residual feelings that cause you discomfort mentally or physically, or both. These events or experiences leave behind new neuropathways in our mind that trigger an emotional response or spike when we think about the event, or even when something externally reminds us of it, for example a voice, a smell, a sound, a person or another physical thing. It may make you freeze, completely incapacitate you for a time, or it could simply mean that you have left behind relationships with people you love because you associate them with the trauma. If your trauma is related to childbirth, you may look back at your birth with mixed emotions, anger, resentment, or if it's a feeding trauma then maybe seeing someone feeding their baby pulls up hurtful and sad memories for you. Trauma presents in many ways and forms, and I could list out the key factors that indicates PTSD, but for me they are less of an indicator of trauma than what you think and feel - whether you think or feel you have something you need to resolve.
A traumatic event means something different to everyone, but please know that if you are experiencing difficulty in moving forward from an event in your life, if it causes you worry, anxiety, changes your sleeping or eating or socialising habits, if you cry uncontrollably or not at all, if you find yourself closing off from the outside world - any or all of the above could present and that is a traumatic event for you. And the best news is, we can resolve that using the 3 Step Rewind method. We can release those negative feelings and balance your emotions attached to this event easily. With just words.
If you want to discuss in more detail please BOOK A CHAT. You do not need to continue to feel this way, you can feel better, and I would love to help you.
Working with Heather has been life changing.
I’ve found out so much about myself and even 6 months later, I am still using the tools and skills that I learnt to unlock new opportunities.
We worked out that I was scared of failing and so didn’t usually take chances when they came up. I was taken aback at this discovery but after it sunk in, lots of things made sense. So, since completing my 6 week course with Heather I have signed up for a horticulture course and taken the first exams of the RHS certificate in June, in the middle of the busy season at work because, what’s the worst that can happen?!I use my grounding techniques daily without noticing and I even enjoy the lengthy school run by reframing it as time for me :)
Thank you Heather, I would recommend anyone who is living in this busy modern world to invest in themselves, they won’t regret it!